Some people think the commercial Christmas arrives when the first cards appear in the shops. Others think it’s here when they see the first gaudily decorated house. Being me, though, I mark the arrival when I hear the first Christmas song being piped through a shop.

And this very lunchtime my buying of scanner cleaner was made slightly more annoying by Paul McCartney, telling me that he was simply having a wonderful Christmas time (What, on November 18th, Paul? Blimey, the celebrations must never end round your house…) So Christmas must be here. Slightly earlier than last year too, when it took till the beginning of December for the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl to be spotted. Batten down the hatches, then, for the onslaught of Slade, Bing Crosby and (eek) Johnny Mathis that awaits. My trusty Carnival Band albums shall be my shield…

[Further sign of Christmas: car sticker seen reading ‘Belgian shepherds in transit’. May your imagination run wild with that one.]