In Which The Inevitable Is Berated In A Rather Obvious Manner

I have often walked down this street before

But the pavement never stuck to both my feet before.

All at once do I feel I’d rather die

Than be here on the street where I live.

Won’t you throw your eggs and flour on your mummy’s floor?

As you beg for sweets and money, do you think you’re poor?

Does enchantment pour out of every door?

Not right here, on the street where I live.

And oh, the sinking feeling,

Just to know the bleeding Scream masks must be near.

The over-powering feeling

When Hallowe’en comes round again each year.

I must buy some Twix, I must buy some Mars.

Hope the corner shop has just stocked up on chocolate bars.

But to tell the truth, I resent the youth

That ransom me on the street where I live.

Kids I’ve never seen come and bother me.

There are many bits of Earth where I would rather be.

Quick, this night, go by! ‘Cause I’d rather I

Wasn’t here on the street where I live.

[Repeat. Ad nauseam.]

4 thoughts on “In Which The Inevitable Is Berated In A Rather Obvious Manner

  1. Gosh, this is masterful! or masterly, whichever. As well as funny. Unfortunately I relate to every line and rhyme. The worst thing is that when I shop for candy I can't help buying what I like, which usually is the part that gets left over after the ghoulies have gone home to binge. And then I binge. Can't help it.

  2. I thought your first comment was rather more subtle than the second, Wood.

    In any case, I haven't even started on trick-or-treaters yet…

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